Your thoughts are so distorted when you’re depressed. I know this from personal experience. I am going through a depression right now. I am losing weight. Sometimes I don’t take care of myself as well as I should. This all came to pass after I was forced to be taken off of a medication. This particular medication can cost upwards of $1500 per month for my parents (as I am simply too broke to pay for my own medication) and we needed to try stopping it because money was tight. Life is not pleasant while off of that medication. Generic replacements aggravate my parkinsonism horribly and don’t even work that well. We had to make it work with the expensive medication. I don’t know how. I don’t ask.

 

But now, just as in December of 2021, my depression is back. Did it ever go away? I have been mildly depressed all this time, but it has been manageable. As of February 2023 it has been raging like an unbearably cold snowstorm, muddying up my memory and my ability to think straight.

 

If there is one thing I know, though, it’s that you have to hold onto hope. For me, hope comes in the form of planning out two or three things to do tomorrow. Always tomorrow. Never further in the future than that. This way I can hold onto those things and know they are promised to me, they are certain. Even if they change, I adapt. This is how I’m surviving right now and I think I’m strong as hell for doing it.




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